My First Few Days

Walking into the international terminal at the airport, there was a flurry of excitement. People of all different races, religions, age, and dress rushing to get where they needed to go. An array of unknown languages touched my ear as I breathed in my atmosphere thinking: “I could get used to this.” Then I said goodbye to my mother and father leaving behind the only world I have known these 20 years of my life. This fact didn’t hit me until I stepped up to the security line. I felt a sense of panic hit my chest. The flurry of people and different languages being spoken no longer gave me a sense of immediate excitement. Instead my sense of adventure turned into an emotion I had refused to believe I would ever feel about an overseas experience: fear.

When preparing for this internship people would always asks me “are you afraid for this?” I would consistently answer that I really wasn’t. Part of me at the time meant that. I think the other part of me was somehow trying to reassure myself that everything was going to be ok. Looking back on it, now being in the city for a few days, I am glad I experienced that sense of fear and panic. It put me right on my knees and taught me the importance of faith, trust, and humility. It is not by my own power or self will that I can feel prepared or confident in every situation while overseas. 

To be honest, I am getting rather used to feeling uncomfortable with my abilities and find myself continually asking for strength before submerging myself into unknown waters. This I am so thankful for because I can honestly say everyday “guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” (Psalm 25) My hope is in Him all day long. Every moment I am relying on Him to show his mercy and provide. Every moment I am asking for His patience and wisdom that transcends my very limited understanding. I think this is a beautiful lesson that I am and will continue to learn for the remainder of my time here.

When arriving to the city I was very warmly welcomed by the people I am interning with. They told me on the first night that I am now part of their family and have treated me as such ever since. I have moved into the apartment and my job as of now is to play the role of “house momma” for those living there. (I have found that being a Resident Assistant at college happened for a reason). I am to act as a support system not only for their physical well-being but also for their emotional and spiritually needs. I am currently staying with a woman and her son who are at risk. The woman has been such a source of hospitality to me, teaching me bits of the language and always making sure I am well taken care of. Though she has gone through immense amounts of pain she is continually giving of herself to those in need. Her son is four years old and is a ball of energy. He is extremely affectionate and is quick to say “I love you.” He is also just as quick to say “I don’t love you no more” when not getting what he wants. He is a bit of a handful but also brings such joy to the heart. Much patience is needed for his mother and I, but I am blessed to say God has been providing that too. God has amazing plans for this little boy and I cannot wait to see how these plans will be fulfilled. This sustains both of us and so does the sound of his infectious laughter when he dances to Michael Jackson and Justin Bieber (yes, apparently they have Bieber Fever here too).  

Coming up this week: Getting to meet more people involved in the program, learning how to shop for groceries at market, still trying not to get lost, and keeping my eyes open to see how the Lord is moving in this city. 

Final Words I would like to say:

1. I am considered tall here (never thought I would see the day) 

2. Nutella is abundant- big containers for cheap prices (for those who are unaware of the beautiful Nutella, it is a hazelnut-chocolate spread you can put on all types of food, my favorite being strawberries!)

6 Days To Take Off...!

Only one week until I fly out and time is passing by so quickly. There is a lot to get done and one thing I am excited to get started is this blog which will serve as a way for me to tell the stories of God's work through my internship this summer. As some of the readers of this blog know, I will be spending my summer in the Middle East working with women who were sex trafficked. A large part of our work will be teaching the women alternative job skills to support themselves and their children. We also will be starting programming for children in the red light district of the city I am living in. Due to the confidentiality of our work, I will not be able to share specifics like where I am staying or the names of the women I will be working with. I instead will provide abbreviations for the women when referring to them in my posts.

When praying and meditating on this summer my natural reaction is to feel intimidated and incapable because of the complexity of the task. Beyond just the complexity, I believe it is the "unknown" that both frightens and excites me about this journey I have been called on. When I begin to feel anxious about the unknown, God keeps bringing into my mind one quote by Emily Dickinson that simply says "dwell in possibility."

I could look at my time in the Middle East thinking I don't know the people's culture, language, and religion. I don't know how exactly I will be able to effectively help these women who have gone through such pain and darkness. Instead, I believe God is calling me to view this summer with joy. God has given me this opportunity to dwell in His possibilities and plans. He is blessing me with the chance to to get to know these people through learning from them about their culture, language, and religion. He is allowing me to be a vessel of his light, love, and healing to these women who he cares so deeply for.

I could dwell in the anxiety of my own knowledge and abilities or I could dwell in a promise far above myself. God's possibilities, plans, and abilities are far above my own. His wisdom and peace surpasses all understanding. This is why I choose to dwell in God and through Him experience and participate in His joy, grace, justice, love, community, truth, and peace. I pray that His Kingdom come and His will be done in the Middle East this summer.

6 Days!!!