The Heart of God

My apologies for taking such a long time to update! I have been attempting to write this blog post for days now. God has been teaching me an immense amount and it has been difficult to find the right words to tie everything together. I pray that all reading will be able to follow what may seem like a bit of rambling on my part. 

I am currently reading a book called “Faces of God” by Gordon and Gladis Depree. I found it in the english clearance bin at a five-story book store down the street from my apartment. Interestingly enough, among the random 80s workout books and cheesy romance novels, there was a selection of Christian materials (most likely disposed of or donated by local believers). The book proposes the concept that every person on this earth is in fact a face of our God. This means there is no person or place void of God. There is not one person that we will fail to learn a characteristic of God from. This way of viewing people should radically change how we think about and treat others. A passage from the book says: 

“When I look around, how can I possibly accept everybody, just everybody as a face of God? This one lies and that one cheats. That fellow was involved in a scandal. This one screams at his wife. This boy is on drugs and that girl is promiscuous. That woman manipulates her family and the whole neighborhood. Is it not an insult to God to call these his faces? My face can become distorted, pushed into or out of shape by what is done, by the lack of the awareness of who I am… But is a dirty face any less of a face?” 

Throughout this internship, and throughout life really, I have come in contact with people society would deem as having dirty faces. These are people who struggle with bondage of addictions, hate, violence, sickness, extreme poverty, and abuse. Their lives are broken and messy. If I am being honest, it isn’t always comfortable to be in the midst of these broken lives. I have to continually check myself not to judge people for what I perceive their circumstances to be, but rather to look at them with a love understanding that they are in fact a beautiful face of God. I pray that they will have the grace to look upon me in the same way in my personal brokenness. 

When meditating on this, God revealed several scriptures that really speak about His heart for the broken, chained, oppressed, abandoned, and poor people of this earth. James 1:27 writes:

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted from the world.” 

When it comes down to it, we can say the right words, attempt to live honest lives, and even give of our possessions to the Lord, but what really honors God is the way that we love and take care his people. He makes it very clear that his presence is especially with the poor and that it is our job as his followers to have a similar presence. 

In Isaiah 58 this calling is explained further when God says:

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not turn away from your own flesh and blood?” 

For those who take these commands seriously, God promises:

“Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear. Then your righteousness will go before you and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer. You will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.” 

God so blesses those who are willing to place themselves in the lives of the messy and broken. Because that is his heart, he does amazing work through people who are willing to answer that call. 

When talking about helping the poor, many get defensive. They believe the person calling others to this kind of service is self-righteous or prideful. The problem with this reaction is that it isn’t the person calling others to action; it is God who is calling. It isn’t a choice of whether you feel like participating in this work or not. God demands that his followers must do this. Granted, it is much easier to live comfortable lives away from the messiness, but God never intended for our lives to be comfortable. 

The most beautiful part is that whether we respond or not, faithfully God still is with the broken. He continues to bring healing and restoration. Isaiah 57 assures us of this by proclaiming:

 “I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.” 

Even earlier in Isaiah 11, a prophecy of the coming of Jesus is made where it exclaims:

“He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears, but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.”

God’s passion and promise is for the poor. 

To really get to know God means going to the places he is. I have a feeling God isn’t particularly choosing to dwell on an oversized couch watching yet another re-run of Seinfeld. (Not saying his presence is void there or that he wouldn’t get a chuckle from Kramer’s rambunctious hair.) What I do know for certain is that God is with the child who grew up without a father. He is with the elderly women who just lost her husband of forty years to cancer. He is with the man hopelessly addicted to alcohol. He is with the woman who chooses to fill her emptiness with the company of men. He is with the man begging for change on the streets. He is with the child infected by HIV who has no access to medicine or even clean drinking water. He is with the girl who was taken away from her home and sold into sexual slavery. If we are to truly understand the very essence of God’s character, if we are to truly follow as his disciples, we need to dwell with these people too. 

The humbling part of this is that we all have some place in our lives that is messy and broken. That hurt we try to hide from the view of the public. That struggle we barely can admit to ourselves we have. We all in some way are the poor. Because of God’s all-encompassing love, he dwells with us and won’t give up until we all reach healing and restoration in him. We are his faces: young, old, rich, poor, healthy, sick, admittedly broken, or attempting to appear to have everything together. We need to start viewing each other like this. We need to start viewing ourselves as this. We need to enter into the depths of each other’s lives and be a part of shining the light of Christ in the darkest places of us all. Then and only then can we reach a deeper understanding, appreciation, and love for the God who sacrificed it all to dwell with the poor like us.

 So there are the truths that God has been challenging me with and they never fail to play into my everyday work here. 

Time for some life updates! Last week we had a birthday celebration for the woman I am living with. We got a large group together and went to an island which was about an hour away by ferry boat. The ferry boat was so densely packed that you could not move anywhere because there were so many people sitting in the aisles and on the stairs. To make things even more crowded, we brought the family’s miniature doxen named Snuggles. Snuggles is so adorable that she caused what seemed like every child on board to come over and shyly giggle as they reached out to pet her. 

Stepping out the boat, I immediately knew I would love our visit here. It had the flavor of a Greek Island complete with white stone buildings, antique metal gateways, and an abundance of greenery which I had been desperately missing in the cold concrete of the city. We enjoyed the day there by picnicking under a gorgeous tree which protected us from being scorched by sun. We got to go exploring to see the unique houses and shops which were speckled all over the Island. At the end of our time there we even got to wade into the sea. Every time I ride the ferry or go running by the sea I have this desire to just submerge myself in the water. I realize this impulse would be a very foolish one due to the depth of the sea and the massive amounts of jellyfish which plague the waters, yet for some reason I can’t help but equate truly feeling alive with the sea. Though I couldn’t fully submerge myself that day, I got a taste for it. 

Ever since my first day in this country, I have completely fallen in love with the sea.  I love how the expanse of blue looks in comparison to the skyline of the city. I love the sweet but salty smell of the air and the refreshing coolness on your face as the wind blows over the waters. I love to see the small fishing boats being gently tossed by the waves as the fishermen go about their daily business. I especially love to watch the sun set over the sea. Such an array of colors and never is one sunset the same. The sea has never failed to put me in a place of awe of God’s beauty, creativity, and genius. Due to this love affair with the sea, I have decided that wherever I live someday must have access to the sea. I have no clue how I have gone so long without it!

We have been continuing to work on the building. We are aiming to have a 24-hour prayer time on the 16^th of July! Hopefully we can get the rooms plastered and painted and the bathrooms up and running at that point.

Final things I would like to say:
My close friend and her husband are having a baby! Congratulations! I cannot wait to celebrate with you both! 

 

Love and Miss You All!

It's All About "the one"

How incredible is it that I have been in this country for a month already! It feels as though I just stepped off the plane, but also feels like I have been here for ages. Each day I am growing more accustomed to life here. I am learning how to be a city dweller: discovering which bus/ferry/taxi to take to get where I need to go, knowing which supermarkets, vegetable vendors, and bakeries to shop at for the cheapest price, how to best j-walk the streets full of passing cars, and my favorite: practicing the city-dweller walk. Those that have lived in a large city (my city housing over 20 million people) understand what I mean when I mention the walk. The key to this art form is to maintain composure by always looking like you know exactly where you are going. You direct your gaze straight ahead and walk with confidence. There is a certain toughness to this walk (no it is not a swagger), and it simply sends a message saying “it would be unwise to mess with me.” I laugh to myself each time I practice this city-dweller walk because I am sure I look foolish. I am that girl who usually smiles too much and laughs way too loud. Looking tough has never been a part of who I am so it is strange to have to put on the face for safety. I always just pray that living in a city this large would never cause me to become hard or cold. This city is immense in size and it is easy to forget that each person you pass has their own personal story. They are all going through different experiences and trials in their life. Being emerged in such a vast sea constantly makes this reality harder to grasp. 

I believe the vastness of the city can also relate to the overwhelming size of the sex trafficking problem. It is easy to look at the issue and feel discouraged because there are so many women affected and too much corruption, governmental complacency, and organized crime that stand in the way of bringing lasting change. Even in the work we are doing I get discouraged because there are so many more women who need rescuing and rehabilitation than just those in our program. I get frustrated with the lack of justice which is desperately needed to take down the pimps, mafias, and corrupt police officers who hold these women in bondage. While feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and discouraged by the immensity of sex trafficking, I discovered a beautiful quote in a book I am reading. I am currently reading “Terrify No More” by Gary Haugen. It is a book written about International Justice Mission who does incredible work of partnering with local governments around the world to rescue and rehabilitate the victims, while also ensuring through local legal systems that the criminals are prosecuted. In the chapter called “It’s All About The One” IJM employee, Sharon, explains “While there are millions of girls and women victimized every day, our work will always be about the one. The one girl deceived. The one girl kidnapped. The one girl raped. The one girl infected with AIDS. The one girl needing a rescuer. To succumb to the enormity of the problem is to fail the one. And more is required of us.” 

God doesn’t call us to solve all of the major issues in the world. If we are being realistic and honest, it would be impossible to do so. He calls us simply to love the person in front of us. He has placed us all in certain places and roles for a reason- to love those he has put in our lives. What a tragedy it is when we overlook these people because we are too focused on solving what is seemingly a more important issue. Change starts with that person. It all begins with loving “the one.” This is such an encouragement and really shows us the character of God. God has impeccable attention to detail.  There is not one person he does not know. No one is ever overlooked or their problems deemed too small to be important to God (and he has concerns of enormity that we can’t even dream of!) 

There are certain days here where my work can become repetitive or even seem mundane. I may think to myself: what is buying groceries or watching Beauty and the Beast for the million time with my little boy doing in the grand scheme of things to fight Sex trafficking? God once again has shown me that it is through the small acts of faithfulness every day that he works. By being consistent in my love and diligent in the work he has given me, I believe God can and will do great things. He has the big picture and I honestly am only certain about today. It is God who conquers and redeems, not I. This realization is both humbling and immensely comforting. If the fate of taking down the whole sex industry was left up to me, I would not have a clue what to do. God knows. Therefore I will just continue to faithfully love the ones he placed before me. I owe it to them and to God. 

We are continuing to renovate the building in the red light district. I was just there on Monday. We scraped paint, plastered walls, super cleaned the floors, and raged war against the black mold. We are hoping to have a refugee family from Iran move there as soon as possible. We are slowly beginning to meet our neighbors who are all very curious why we are there. One lady is extremely concerned at the state of our filthy windows (an understandable concern, yet if she saw the inside of the house she might have a heart attack.) Slowly but surely the house is being fixed up. We have been incredibly blessed with so many hands willing to help.

 Life at the safe house is going well. I introduced the new Disney movie Tangled to the little boy living with me. He always says to me “I like girl” and “she is very sweet.” Safe to say he is crushing on a cartoon. We have implemented our schedule and classes are going on every day. It is still a challenge coming up with things to cook (proud to say I made a delicious stir fry for dinner.) Hopefully this will prepare me for feeding myself when I return to college. A new woman just moved in tonight. She is from Turkmenistan and has been living in Turkey trying to make money to send back to her four children. Please pray that she will feel safe and welcome here. 

Speaking of prayer, I heard from a friend that my church back home spent some time on Sunday praying for my work here. I just wanted to thank you all for taking the time to pray for me! Prayer is always needed and I really do feel the impact of them. How awesome it is to be supported by believers back home!

Final Words: I finally found hummus! You would think that the Middle East would be the land flowing of hummus and flatbread but in actuality I had to really search to find this treasure. Now I will be putting hummus on everything to make up for the lost time I had to spend without it! 

Greetings to all of my family and friends back in the states. I actually felt quite homesick this week and that’s because there are so many amazing people there! You make home feel like home and I can’t wait to see all of your faces in August! 

 

The King of Glory

Greetings to my wonderful friends and family. I decided it was about time for another blog update! I am sitting here writing this at 6:30am while most of you back home are probably just deciding to hop into bed. Isn’t time such a funny thing.

Last week Wednesday we had a short term group from Germany come and help us at the safe house with various projects. I was so excited for them to come that I attempted to bake cookies for them the night before. The first time I made cookies in this country, they were all the rage. This time sadly they didn’t rise in the oven, making pathetic hard and flat cookies. Being as kind as they were, they still ate all of my cookies throughout the day. We worked on painting the kitchen, a bathroom, and the outer courtyard. We also planted a garden in the front of our apartment complex. Their hard work and willing attitudes were such a blessing. They were such a blessing especially to me because I have been craving interaction with believers my own age since being here. Throughout the day I got a chance to talk with them and learn more about what God was doing in their lives. After all our work was finished they invited me out to dinner with them. It was my favorite night here so far. 

By Saturday we finally signed the papers on the building we are renting for the ministry. It is in the heart of the red light district of this city. The area essentially is the slums populated by refugees, gypsies, and the poor. The buildings are extremely old and falling apart. Kids play around trash and broken bottles in the street. Dozens of “hotels” (aka brothels) speckle the region with their true purpose not hidden from anyone. The headquarters of the police are on the very street our building is on which is incredibly suspicious and screams corruption to me. It is not uncommon for policemen to receive free sexual favors in order to protect the sex trade by warning pimps on or even thwarting potential raids of brothels. Many women who are trafficked refuse to go to the police for help because they know they make up a large amount of their clientele. There have been accounts of policemen when approached by a trafficked woman responding by returning her to her pimp or even reselling her for personal gain. 

Our building is in the heart of this darkness, pain, poverty, and corruption. There is no doubt in our minds that God chose this location in order for us to participate in shining his light, justice, protection, healing, restoration, and love to those living in this area. 

Now to describe our building. It is anywhere from 100 to 150 years old and is completely run down. There is dirt and debris everywhere. The stairs are soft and the guardrail unusable. Black mold is a common find throughout the rooms. Everything in the building must be scraped down and repainted. The plumbing and wiring must be reevaluated and possibly completely redone. Portions of the roof and floor will probably have to be rebuilt. Let’s just say it is going to be a labor of love. What inspires me is that like restoring this building, God has such a heart to restore this neighborhood and the people in it who have been counted as forgotten and worthless by the greater society. Just like this building will take time, hard work, and lot of love, so will these people we will be encountering. In a way, I think God is training us for the greater task by asking us to be faithful in preparing this building for his work. 

When stepping into the building for the first time I felt an overwhelming sense of darkness, like some extremely evil things had occurred in this place. For all I knew, this space could have aided in the harboring of trafficked women.  As the team started at the top of the building we prayed in each room asking God to reclaim the space for his glory and purpose. I have never sensed such strong spiritual warfare in my life. Taking back this space for God is going to radically change this area that Satan has such a stronghold over. I am sure the last thing Satan wants is for God’s light to shine in his dark area, but God will shine on as he always does redeeming precious lives in the process. 

A reoccurring phrase God keeps bringing to my mind is “give a face to the faceless.” The people who live in this neighborhood and the women who are forced into the sex trade are faceless to society. Society views them as having little worth and do virtually nothing to protect even their most basic human rights. They are treated as if they are not human and in turn their identity, value, and voice are stripped from them. I believe God is calling me to be a person who reaches out to the faceless in society. He is calling me to instill a sense of worth into their minds so they can understand how precious and valuable they are. He is also calling me to pursue justice in order to ensure that their rights are granted and protected, that society will be unable to overlook these people any longer. Instead of being considered “the least of these” they will become the protected children of God and no one on this earth can strip that identity from them. I believe this work of giving a face to the faceless is a calling in every location and I am quite excited to be a part of the team starting this process in the red light district.

We had an awesome Y-team from Scotland be the first group to work with us on the building. Again I was super excited to have them (sadly no cookies were made this time- our oven is broken). Each member has their own story and it is such a joy to hear bits about it while working. The Scotland team had it on their hearts to intercede in prayer for this nation so we started off the day with a time of prayer. Wow, this team can pray! They blew me away with the passion and authority in which they spoke. A passage that kept coming up in prayer was Psalm 24:7-10 which says:

  “Lift up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors that the King of glory may come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. Lift up your heads, O you gates; lift them up you ancient doors that the King of glory may come in.Who is he, this King of glory? The Lord Almighty- he is the King of glory.”
 

It is our prayer that the ancient gates and doors of this city be opened up for the glory of the Lord to burst in. He is strong. He is mighty. There is no problem or darkness he cannot and has not overcome. We pray that he shine in this neighborhood and that the ancient doors of our building would be opened to not only allow his light out, but to let people in. Because God is so mighty, he is our refuge and place of healing. We pray that our building would be a refuge and place of healing for those broken, sick, used, abandoned, and alone.

The team from Scotland helped us clear up the back yard, started the cleaning process on the rooms, and helped us scrape paint from the walls. Some brave souls even attacked the black mold. At the end of the day we were all covered in dirt, dust, and sweat but there was an understanding that what happened that day was truly groundbreaking in this ministry. 

 

Other News: It was Lisa’s Birthday back home. Happy Birthday Lisa! Hope your party was wonderful!

Sorry that’s all the time I have for now. 

Love and Miss you all!

Overdue Update!!

Sorry I haven’t updated the blog recently! The days have been busy and my internet access is limited. Things have been going really well here. I am adjusting more to the culture and to city life.

I said in my earlier post that I would be going to Market.  I went last Tuesday and it was such an experience that I returned again on Friday. The moment you enter the Bazaar Marketplace you immediately have sensory overload. There are tables set up all over containing anything and everything including vegetables, fruit, flowers, clothing, scarves, children’s toys, imported goods from the US and Europe, and very random items like the occasional mop head or wig (which apparently are a big deal here). Each table is run by a man shouting very loudly to buy their product. Some men even sing to advertise what they are selling. Above the tables are tarps that act as open air tents that attempt to shield everyone from the blazing sun, but because of the massive amounts of people, it is still sweltering. My favorite part honestly is the people watching. There are women in all sorts of dress. Some in high fashion others completely covered in their chador. Some men are decked out in Armani while others look like they got straight off of their fishing boat. People pour over the tables with the best prices ripping through clothing and fabric. An argument or two breaks out between a seller and a buyer, but for the most part people are courteous to one another. Besides people watching, I love the satisfaction of scoping out the best deals on food and clothing. I found a dress on Friday for what is equivalent to three dollars! The Timmers would be proud of my bargain hunting. 

The hardest part for me in adjusting to this culture is that at first-glance people in this country seem cold and unfriendly. Walking down the street here is not like walking down a street at home. At home everyone smiles at you even if they do not know you. Here no one smiles at each other when passing by. Trust me, I have tried smiling at older ladies while passing by and they looked at me like I was crazy. It is discouraging when I am having a long day and all I want to see is a friendly face. I most likely won’t see one unless it’s someone trying to sell me something or a boy trying to get my attention because I am American. It gets discouraging but I have found that if I look closer I can see the goodness between people in this city. People display their friendliness in more subtle ways here like always having a cup of tea ready for a visitor or helping an older lady carry her shopping bags. I personally have been shown kindness by the Starbucks man who is extremely patient when I try to order speaking broken sentences in his language. We always have a good laugh as we struggle to communicate with one another. I also have been shown kindness by the family who owns a small convenience store on the corner of my street. They always show me with coins how much money I owe them. They don’t take advantage of me because I am a foreigner and instead help me step by step. God has been showing me more each day the humanity and decency of the people in this country through what seems like small and ordinary interactions. I pray that he continues these revelations and in turn develops friendships through them. 

Right by my apartment, there is a beautiful park full of grass and trees. It is located right along the sea. Each morning I go for a run there and it has been such a place of peace for me. Through the huff and puff of my run God speaks to me through the beauty of his creation. The blueness of the ocean. The immense expanse of the sky. The occasional dolphin sighting. I have the blessing to lose myself every day in the awe of God’s beauty. When reflecting on this gift my mind goes back to Psalm 19 which proclaims “The Heavens declare the glory of God and the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speak, night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.” There is no country, language, or religion that does not recognize the intricate beauty of God’s creation. Its message is not something that simply can be ignored. It beckons to the soul that there is something more meaningful to life than just the dullness of our days. It calls us to marvel. This in turn inspires us to dig deeper instead of wallowing in our shallowness. When we see the beauty of God’s creation our soul gasps for life, true life, whether we recognize it at the time or not. I pray that God continues to use his stunning creation here to draw more people into his arms for they too are his precious workmanship. 

 

I have been reading a book dealing with the work we are doing called “The Natashas: Inside the New Global Sex Trade.” It gives a bold insight of the Sex trade covering the subjects of smuggling women, the breaking-down of the women, the criminal groups that runs the trade, the impact internet has had on the trade, the corruption of police and government officials which stimulates the trade, and the impact it all has on the trafficked women. The reason the book is called the Natashas is because the women who are in high demand in the global sex market are women with the certain look of tall, skinny, and blonde. These women for the most part are being supplied from Eastern Europe and Russia. Most are promised jobs abroad and when they arrive to their destination, their papers are ripped up and they are forced to service anywhere from 10 to 50 men a day. When they are not servicing men, they are locked up in terrible living conditions. They are rarely fed and are frequently beaten, tortured, and raped by their pimps. We have heard of similar accounts happening in this very city. Women from Eastern Europe being a large percentage trafficked here as well. The good news is that God truly has a heart for these women and he has been providing for our ministry in our outreach attempts. We, just yesterday, found a whole building needing to be rented for a very reasonable price. In it we hope to open up several more safe houses, classrooms for work and rehabilitation, a space for worship, and an area for the care of the women’s children. We also are still searching for an apartment to act as a children’s home for abandoned children, many of which come from gypsy families. God is so incredibly good and has blessed us in incredible ways far beyond our own vision.

Life at my safe house is going well! We are currently working on developing a daily schedule and set of procedures that will further ensure the safety and stability of the women staying there. I am growing even closer to the woman and the child I am living with. God is really blessing the time that we spend together and is allowing the woman to feel comfortable in sharing about her past experiences and faith walk with me. The little boy is as energetic as ever. He has recently been having violent spells where he acts very aggressive. I ask for you all to pray over this little boy. He has seen so much and needs God’s healing to get past the fear and anger that suppress his natural spirit of kindness and joy. Another exciting note on the safe house is that a Ukrainian woman and her child might be moving in soon. Please pray that God prepare a place for her here where she will feel accepted, safe, and loved. 

Miss and Love You All!! (Here are some pictures of the view from my park)